overwhelmed.
feels like this quarter is already passing me by. i have so many responsibilities, so many jobs/internships, clubs, and just THINGS i would like to do before i leave this state.
sometimes i sit and wonder what it'd be like for one day to just throw all my responsibilities out the window. how glorious would that be?
only in my dreams...haha.
well, here's to another early morning wake up. gnight.
--------------------------------------------------------
..oops. somehow this didn't get posted last night!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
ai ya.
ohhh the double standards of life. not a fan.
but learning to humble myself, has been the true challenge. "you, my brothers, were called to be free. but do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love." -galatians 5:13.
i am a woman of expression. i wear my thoughts, feeling & emotions boldly on my sleeve. not so much this time. there is so much more. so much more that does not meet the eye. but i'm okay with that. God will just have to continue walking me through this. sometimes i wish i could just say something though.
the beach will sooth my heart; praise God♥
but learning to humble myself, has been the true challenge. "you, my brothers, were called to be free. but do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love." -galatians 5:13.
i am a woman of expression. i wear my thoughts, feeling & emotions boldly on my sleeve. not so much this time. there is so much more. so much more that does not meet the eye. but i'm okay with that. God will just have to continue walking me through this. sometimes i wish i could just say something though.
the beach will sooth my heart; praise God♥
Monday, April 5, 2010
oh how i missed you.
my sweet sweet honus! got reunited at seaworld withum.
let's just say, this was one of the many highlights of the trip :)
OH! and our bucketlist. i've been thinking a lot about it lately. my house and i made a bucketlist to accomplish before we all leave this year :) we have 2 months to complete it!
Of the things on the list, I'd really like to go kayaking, go on another fellowship of the rings hike (HAHA), beach it like there's no tomorrow, make our groundbreaking music video, and have a BBQ! all very do-able things. now we just gotta make time to do them. haha. i'll keep you updated?
anyhoo, just felt the need to update a bit. more to come! now time for sleeep<3
aloha auinapo.
let's just say, this was one of the many highlights of the trip :)
Of the things on the list, I'd really like to go kayaking, go on another fellowship of the rings hike (HAHA), beach it like there's no tomorrow, make our groundbreaking music video, and have a BBQ! all very do-able things. now we just gotta make time to do them. haha. i'll keep you updated?
anyhoo, just felt the need to update a bit. more to come! now time for sleeep<3
aloha auinapo.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
let's be real.
for even a moment. :) i came across this verse today, and i found it to be very encouraging for women:
but anyway, the week is well underway, and i'm still finding myself adjusting (as many of you are as well). it's quite a sensation not having class, not being on campus, and NOT HAVING HOMEWORK! and although i am lacking those things, i've come to the realization that i still don't have as much free time as i thought i'd have. i'm currently working 2 jobs, may possibly take on an internship, dancing with ITO (polynesian dancing club), and co-leading Epic! it's just nuts. but i love them all so much, i don't want to give any up. haha. thus, i will continue to have a full schedule. which is good slash bad? i guess we'll find out.
aside from all that, i'm feeling kind of...off? if i were to describe the color of my heart, which robbyn & sarah might say (haha!), i might say that it's either rainbow colored, or brown. simply because i'm feeling both a lot of different things, yet a mesh of just everything--at the same time. feeling excited that it's spring & just ready to start this quarter off right. happy that i've got the Lord just being my awesome savior. weird because i am no longer a college student. blah because i feel kind of underpursued/a little shut down. and then feeling sad because of that + the fact that i'm moving out of the state in just 2 short months. which is kind of crazy, come to think about it. makes me nostalgic already! but yeah, basically just a hodge podge of feelings. all balled up into my little heart. aye!
and so, let's be real. i'm a girl, and all these crazy feelings, yes! i'm sure there are others that feel this way too. however, i am very encouraged by the verse i listed above. fearing God, as in trusting that He is sovereign over all areas in my life, knowing that He is all powerful, and believing that He loves me so much that He'll do what's best for me. now that, is a praise in itself.
anyway, here's to the last spring quarter in santa barbara. can't believe you're already here.
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her works praise her in the gates.that's the kind of woman i aspire to be. fearing the Lord! oh yes.
but anyway, the week is well underway, and i'm still finding myself adjusting (as many of you are as well). it's quite a sensation not having class, not being on campus, and NOT HAVING HOMEWORK! and although i am lacking those things, i've come to the realization that i still don't have as much free time as i thought i'd have. i'm currently working 2 jobs, may possibly take on an internship, dancing with ITO (polynesian dancing club), and co-leading Epic! it's just nuts. but i love them all so much, i don't want to give any up. haha. thus, i will continue to have a full schedule. which is good slash bad? i guess we'll find out.
aside from all that, i'm feeling kind of...off? if i were to describe the color of my heart, which robbyn & sarah might say (haha!), i might say that it's either rainbow colored, or brown. simply because i'm feeling both a lot of different things, yet a mesh of just everything--at the same time. feeling excited that it's spring & just ready to start this quarter off right. happy that i've got the Lord just being my awesome savior. weird because i am no longer a college student. blah because i feel kind of underpursued/a little shut down. and then feeling sad because of that + the fact that i'm moving out of the state in just 2 short months. which is kind of crazy, come to think about it. makes me nostalgic already! but yeah, basically just a hodge podge of feelings. all balled up into my little heart. aye!
and so, let's be real. i'm a girl, and all these crazy feelings, yes! i'm sure there are others that feel this way too. however, i am very encouraged by the verse i listed above. fearing God, as in trusting that He is sovereign over all areas in my life, knowing that He is all powerful, and believing that He loves me so much that He'll do what's best for me. now that, is a praise in itself.
anyway, here's to the last spring quarter in santa barbara. can't believe you're already here.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
in due time.
ecclesiastes 3:1-8.
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
God truly does have a time for everything. maybe things don't always work out the way you hoped they would, but He'll still use that for His glory. maybe you wish you had or you hadn't, but everything happens for a reason. and maybe you feel like a failure, but you're not. God's using that--in one way or another.
and above all else, we continue to strive towards glorifying Him. whether or not we see the fruits of that or not, we continue to fight the good fight. we continue to reach out towards Him. these are the things that bring glory.
i'm slowly learning. slowly understanding that all my hopes, works, desires, are never going to happen in my time. that nothing i will ever do will be the reason or cause for any changes, any miracles, any epiphanies. it's all about God. and i'm just beginning to realize that i am SO small in the whole scheme of things, and that i'm fortunate enough to just be a part of it.
anyway, that's my ramble for today. kinda going through a lot, so prayer would be much appreciated.
on the bright side i'm going to newport today? gunna see the bestie♥ payce.
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
God truly does have a time for everything. maybe things don't always work out the way you hoped they would, but He'll still use that for His glory. maybe you wish you had or you hadn't, but everything happens for a reason. and maybe you feel like a failure, but you're not. God's using that--in one way or another.
and above all else, we continue to strive towards glorifying Him. whether or not we see the fruits of that or not, we continue to fight the good fight. we continue to reach out towards Him. these are the things that bring glory.
i'm slowly learning. slowly understanding that all my hopes, works, desires, are never going to happen in my time. that nothing i will ever do will be the reason or cause for any changes, any miracles, any epiphanies. it's all about God. and i'm just beginning to realize that i am SO small in the whole scheme of things, and that i'm fortunate enough to just be a part of it.
anyway, that's my ramble for today. kinda going through a lot, so prayer would be much appreciated.
on the bright side i'm going to newport today? gunna see the bestie♥ payce.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
DONEZO.
what theeee. i feel old!
who would've ever thought time would fly by this fast. SO fast that i'm actually DONE with college.
the chapter in my life that i thought would neverrr end, just ended. LAST NIGHT! it's crazy. still hasn't hit me, in fact.
anyway, finally got my beach fix yesterday! yesss. well, "beach". we were actually on the lawn next to it, but only because the tide was too high! haha. but don't worry, i won't be a poser again today, as kristin & i will be basking in the sun on the pier as of 2pm todayy♥
it's amazing how sunny weather, salty air & sand between my toes can truly turn my frown upside down. i'm not going to lie, this past week and a half has been incredibly difficult for me, and i'm still walking through it. somedays i feel like i just can't take it anymore, like i just want to crawl into a hole and hide for a while. other days i feel strengthened by God. and days like yesterday and today, i just feel like it's time to heal, time to get up off my butt & truly be happy amidst all the trials in life. it's so interesting how the simple pleasures in life can do that for us in some of the most trying times.
what i do know though, is that GOD IS SO GOOD. through so much, He continues to deliver me from myself, my sins, my problems, my issues, my pain. He's been my rock. through all of it, He continues to be glorified. which, in the end, is the ultimate goal anyway. it's truly amazing to see it all come together and realize that no matter what happens in life, God is going to use it for His glory. and that's suchh a comforting thought, to know that i am not as big as i think i am. that no matter what i do, He will continue to be glorified.
with one last closing thought, i'd like to share this verse: "surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever"--psalm 23:6. i don't quite know why this stuck out to me? but it did. and i'm sharing it with you :) the Lord loves you. && desperately wants to pursue an ever-so intimate relationship with you. and take it from me, there ain't nothin better.
happy wednesday everyone (:
♥nickkayyy
Monday, March 15, 2010
i really wish i went to the beach today.
perfect weather.
and what did i do? fake study for hours. SADNESS. i was also feeling a little self conscious too. so maybe i can blame it on that too? but i can't let it pass me by tmro.
all i know is that i really need an escape. & the beach is lookin quite lovely.
maybe i should just run across the street & take a refreshing dip now? i'm goin crazy.
he restores my soul. he guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
i'm slowly learning that there is only one thing needed. if you haven't checked it out already, listen to dominic balli's sermon from this weekend. it will ROCK you.
sorry for my series of randomness. like i said, i'm goin crazy!
backtobusiness.
and what did i do? fake study for hours. SADNESS. i was also feeling a little self conscious too. so maybe i can blame it on that too? but i can't let it pass me by tmro.
all i know is that i really need an escape. & the beach is lookin quite lovely.
maybe i should just run across the street & take a refreshing dip now? i'm goin crazy.
he restores my soul. he guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
i'm slowly learning that there is only one thing needed. if you haven't checked it out already, listen to dominic balli's sermon from this weekend. it will ROCK you.
sorry for my series of randomness. like i said, i'm goin crazy!
backtobusiness.
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