check it out at: http://nickyleong.tumblr.com
it’s been a loooong while.
haven’t written here for some time, my bad. been going through some crazy hard things. some things i just do not want to revisit. life is getting really tough, and i am merely trying to crawl out from this hole.
i am not myself lately.
i don’t know what it is, but i find myself feeling perpetually anxious, weird, afraid, scatterbrained, annoyed, sad, stressed, and just not me. i’m trying hard to process all that i’m going through, but i just don’t know how. i’ve realized that i have a tendency to stuff it & not deal with some of the tough things in my life, simply because i just don’t want to go there. but i’m now starting to see that it’s just far too much to continue on the way i used to. i need to face the music.
time to wake up and smell the roses. realize that i went through an extremely tough school year. went through things i thought i never would, left college with some loose ends not tied, and just utterly overwhelmed by the speed & volume of life transitions that happened in a matter of weeks. i need to realize and acknowledge that summer project was amazing, and now it is over. i’m out in hawaii on my own, & that i’m not having the easiest time learning how to be an adult…time to realize also that im only at the beginning. that i feel broken & struck down, but not destroyed. that i need to actually work through these things. and the first step is acknowledging that i actually have pain in my life.
yet in spite of all these difficulties, i’ve found an overwhelming comfort in the Lord. i’ve never felt more close to Him in my life. it feels like we’re walking hand in hand, and that i never wanna let go. on almost a daily basis He’s revealing things to me, whether it be through people, the word, or my own thoughts. He lets me know He’s there. when i feel like there’s nothing left, He gives me hope.
just the other day, i got this verse: “just as i was with moses, so will i be with you. i will not leave you or forsake you.” -joshua 1:5. how sweet is that? i am not alone.
anyway, prayer would be much appreciated. for strength, for hope, and for complete reliance on the Lord. MAHALO! i will try to update again soon. just been tough finding time with all the busy-ness going on..got friends still visiting til wed, got work, and just trying to figure out life! but yeah, that’s all for now, folks. paycee.
Friday, September 3, 2010
update from tumblr #3: feels like: defeated.
so over this car search thing..i just want my camry back :( first, had my heart set on this one..only to get completely let down (by no fault of the seller, but ya, it’s complicated) & now have to hunt for a car in the midst of starting work & having all my cali friends visiting. ive also had enough shady car people to last me for a long while. after yesterdays long and horrendous experience, i feel just about ready to throw in the towel. butttt, i can’t. because i just need a car that badly. it’s hard not knowing who to trust, how to do this, and even finding people to do this with me. i feel like i can’t even continue this search without a guy there with me. and then im just left feeling like a helpless little girl. and i hate that feeling. bah…
so frustrated with being so incredibly dependent on people & just not being able to get life started here for real. i never realized how much i took having a car for granted. but now, living all the way out in hawaii kai, starting work, & trying to just get around, i realize just how important it is to find one. but yea. ill stop complaining. my bad. im just having a really tough time. please pray. mahalo.
so frustrated with being so incredibly dependent on people & just not being able to get life started here for real. i never realized how much i took having a car for granted. but now, living all the way out in hawaii kai, starting work, & trying to just get around, i realize just how important it is to find one. but yea. ill stop complaining. my bad. im just having a really tough time. please pray. mahalo.
update from tumblr: ohmygosh about to explode into happiness; 2 weeks ago
WHY IS GOD SO GOOD?? i can hardly contain myself.
just had a girl visit earlier this afternoon…and GUESS WHAT?!
i just scored a new roomie!!!!!!!!!!!! i couldn’t be more stoked. she seems way chill & someone who i’ll be able to get along with quite well. gosh, in 1 week- a job, a car, AND a roomie. God really is opening doors for me, and continuing to pour out dem blesssingggsss. ♥
today should be a fun-filled day as well. just finished a quiettime with grant ♥ then got lunch & laying out in my backyard with the wonderful hannapang (: then hanging out with miss taryn later tonight & having a little sleepover! CHEE! we may even have a little pizookie action. HOLLER.
then tomorrow i go in for my first day of work & on friday ALESSANDRA arrives! super stoked.
mm life is so good. god, you are b-e-a-utiful.
oh & another update: i just got a job interview tomorrow :) pray for me?
just had a girl visit earlier this afternoon…and GUESS WHAT?!
i just scored a new roomie!!!!!!!!!!!! i couldn’t be more stoked. she seems way chill & someone who i’ll be able to get along with quite well. gosh, in 1 week- a job, a car, AND a roomie. God really is opening doors for me, and continuing to pour out dem blesssingggsss. ♥
today should be a fun-filled day as well. just finished a quiettime with grant ♥ then got lunch & laying out in my backyard with the wonderful hannapang (: then hanging out with miss taryn later tonight & having a little sleepover! CHEE! we may even have a little pizookie action. HOLLER.
then tomorrow i go in for my first day of work & on friday ALESSANDRA arrives! super stoked.
mm life is so good. god, you are b-e-a-utiful.
oh & another update: i just got a job interview tomorrow :) pray for me?
update from tumblr #2: all growed up. kind of.
today i had my second interview with prudential locations, a real estate agency out here. i’m hoping to get a marketing/production position, and get started on my career. WOAH, did i just say career? why, yes i did. (:
i feel so grown up lately. well, besides the fact that i need to bum rides off people WHEREVER i go. i never realized how tough it would be not having a car! few more weeks though, and then it’s allll mine. anyway, back to me being grown up!
it’s weird having to make all of these decisions and do most everything on my “own”. although i’m learning how to business, i have to give God mad props for just opening up SO many doors in my life.
coming off of project…i’m not gunna lie, i had MAJOR doubts about the decision i made to move here. i was thinking, why am i putting myself in this position? i’m going to be very very uncomfortable. will i even survive? i’m going to have to learn how to do everything on my own. people must think im crazy! (and i am) but then i am constantly being reminded of the great calling God put on my heart early last year. it was a call i could not refuse. and thus, here i am.
i’m not gunna lie though, it’s not always easy being here. i miss cali terribly. i miss my family, my friends, my church, my easy livin. i can’t even begin to tell you how amazing the people are back home that i left behind. i am truly blessed :) i miss you all ♥
but, as i’m maturing and growing older, i’m learning how to be obedient. and without a doubt in my mind, this is where i need to be right now. God is making that very clear. and the funny thing is that i’m actually following! haha. we’ll have to see where He takes me from here.
anyway, tonight i’m going with my friend to an advertising networking event. i’m pretty stoked to be given this opportunity! i’m excited to meet new people and just begin to dig into all the networking that goes with the advertising/marketing world. perhaps i’ll find that this kind of thing is my kind of thing? who knows. we’ll see.
tomorrow my cali roomie OLLIE comes out! i can’t be more stoked. we’re going to have so much fun. and then the 24th my other roomies, KRISTIN & JENN come out too! mini reunion up in hurr. can’t wait to show them around the island in which i now call home (: hopefully work won’t hinder me from going on too many adventures with them… haha. i know we’ll have a good time for sure though. just with that miss JAMIE & EUNICE were coming too! next time though, ya?
but yeah, things are goood here. couldn’t ask for more. GOD IS GOOD.
i feel so grown up lately. well, besides the fact that i need to bum rides off people WHEREVER i go. i never realized how tough it would be not having a car! few more weeks though, and then it’s allll mine. anyway, back to me being grown up!
it’s weird having to make all of these decisions and do most everything on my “own”. although i’m learning how to business, i have to give God mad props for just opening up SO many doors in my life.
coming off of project…i’m not gunna lie, i had MAJOR doubts about the decision i made to move here. i was thinking, why am i putting myself in this position? i’m going to be very very uncomfortable. will i even survive? i’m going to have to learn how to do everything on my own. people must think im crazy! (and i am) but then i am constantly being reminded of the great calling God put on my heart early last year. it was a call i could not refuse. and thus, here i am.
i’m not gunna lie though, it’s not always easy being here. i miss cali terribly. i miss my family, my friends, my church, my easy livin. i can’t even begin to tell you how amazing the people are back home that i left behind. i am truly blessed :) i miss you all ♥
but, as i’m maturing and growing older, i’m learning how to be obedient. and without a doubt in my mind, this is where i need to be right now. God is making that very clear. and the funny thing is that i’m actually following! haha. we’ll have to see where He takes me from here.
anyway, tonight i’m going with my friend to an advertising networking event. i’m pretty stoked to be given this opportunity! i’m excited to meet new people and just begin to dig into all the networking that goes with the advertising/marketing world. perhaps i’ll find that this kind of thing is my kind of thing? who knows. we’ll see.
tomorrow my cali roomie OLLIE comes out! i can’t be more stoked. we’re going to have so much fun. and then the 24th my other roomies, KRISTIN & JENN come out too! mini reunion up in hurr. can’t wait to show them around the island in which i now call home (: hopefully work won’t hinder me from going on too many adventures with them… haha. i know we’ll have a good time for sure though. just with that miss JAMIE & EUNICE were coming too! next time though, ya?
but yeah, things are goood here. couldn’t ask for more. GOD IS GOOD.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
