continuation.

back at the apartment. with some more alone time. which i should be happy about...but quite frankly i'm feeling a bit lonely right now. not sure why, but i am. surrounded by loving roommates, family, and friends, how could i possibly feel this way?! but i do.

maybe it's God speaking to me. it's time to seek him earnestly. time to spend more quality AND quiet time with Him. Maybe he's seeking me out.

this summer has taught me a lot about myself. i've learned how to read my own thoughts and emotions better, and work towards actually making sense of them! i'm learning how to live life in the moment. and just following with blind faith. trusting that everything will be okay. i think that's what Jesus has been trying to teach me all along. so even though i'm feeling a bit on the alone side, i am so thankful. i'm learning more about myself than i ever have before. and truly enjoying it. i'm starting to do all the things i've always wanted to do, think the way i've wanted to think, and j u s t b e.

i've come to this amazing conclusion that we need to cherish life more than we do. our lives are but a dot on a line, so minuscule to eternity and what God has prepared before us! with that said, i think we ought to be living it to it's fullest. not being tied down, bogged down, or anything of the sort. we need to live in the moment, take every opportunity, and truly enjoy all that life has to offer. i don't want to ever wonder if i only "coulda shoulda woulda". because when i look back, i will have done it.

i think i'll go on another run tomorrow. some thinking is in order for me! i have so much going through my head, that i've kept so balled up inside, it's time to let loose, and led God. praying that He will just lead me.

so as far as loneliness goes, maybe it's because i came home earlier than i expected. maybe it's because no one's here right now. or maybe it's because i'm hanging onto my old ways. but blogging has been helpful. :) and for that, i am thankful.